Edge of Real Podcast | Midlife Identity and Rediscovery

#3. 6 Ways to Reclaim Your Visibility in Midlife

• Kristin Hamilton | Personal Growth Coach • Season 1 • Episode 3

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Reclaiming visibility in midlife means finally aligning the version of yourself the world sees with the woman you truly are inside. In this episode of Edge of Real, I share personal stories and practical tools to help you rediscover your identity, step into your authentic confidence, and embrace the power of becoming visible again.

Here’s what we’ll explore together:
 • The moment an acting coach’s simple question exposed how I had abandoned my true self
 • Why assertiveness is not selfish - it’s the bridge between integrity, self-expression, and empowerment
 • Six ways to reclaim your visibility in midlife: personal style, speaking up, challenging limiting beliefs, pursuing new passions, building meaningful connections, and prioritizing your physical presence
 • How power posing for just two minutes can shift your hormones and boost confidence
 • The link between intermittent fasting, clarity, and reclaiming personal power
 • Journal prompt: What identity inside you have you been putting off choosing?

If you’ve ever felt invisible or disconnected from your real self, this episode will remind you that midlife isn’t the end of your story - it’s the beginning of your most authentic chapter.

Download the free guide with 6 Ways to Reclaim Your Visibility in Midlife https://stan.store/edgeofreal

🦋 Would you like help walking through these steps, or with accountability, or deeper dives into these topics? Interested in learning more about working 1:1 with me to transform your life in your rediscovery? Schedule a free Discovery call with me here: https://stan.store/edgeofreal

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📌 Leave a review, then email us a screenshot at edgeofrealpodcast@gmail.com and we will send you a beautiful free digital journal to help you work through some of your thoughts and get some clarity about what you truly want out of your life.

📹 Photo by Rob Merritt – used with permission.

🎵 Theme Music: Home by Vlad Gluschenko @vladest_art — Home

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported: ...

Kristin:

you're listening to edge of real, a podcast for women rediscovering who they really are, beyond the rules, roles, timelines and expectations. Each week we explore rebecoming, where identity shifts, truth rises and we return to our true selves, helping you remember you're not lost. You're on the edge of something real. I'm Kristin and I am so glad you're here. Today's conversation is about being seen. I'll be covering six powerful ways to reclaim your visibility in midlife. It's also about identity Not the identity you've been taught to perform, but the truer self that's already within you, waiting for you to choose her. This episode is also about becoming who you already are, about recognizing when the version of you you're showing the world doesn't match the one that lives inside, and about finding the courage to step closer to and ultimately claim your truth. I'll share a story about how I finally acknowledged and learned to heal a very limiting belief I'd held onto for decades and thus began to untangle from the identity I was performing and move toward the woman I already was inside. So let's dive in. When we talk about rediscovering ourselves in midlife, it's not just this quiet inner process. Yes, it begins there with the journaling, reflection, asking the hard questions, but at some point, the becoming has to move from inside to outside. And here's what I've been noticing the more we rediscover who we truly are, the more we bump up against this question of visibility. For so many women in midlife, visibility can feel complicated. I know me too. We've been conditioned to play small, to smooth the edges, to not rock the boat. We've been rewarded for being agreeable, for disappearing into the roles we were given, for keeping the peace. We're often dismissed as just the mom or just the wife, or just the caregiving daughter. We often don't have the energetic capacity or emotional bandwidth to reject the wrongs thrust upon us or to even take the time to look within to determine how we feel about them. And then one day we wake up and realize I don't even recognize myself anymore. One day we wake up and realize I don't even recognize myself anymore, and I will never forget a specific time. This hit me hard. So let's have a story time.

Kristin:

Several years ago, in the midst of a terrible time at the end of my marriage, I was in an acting class and at that time, as a stay-at-home mom with fairly young children, this was the one thing I did completely for myself. Now this particular acting coach was a truly terrifying man. He had this full head of white hair and a calm but commanding voice. But even his silence was scary. His tone was deep and clear and made you stand a little taller. Now, my theater friend said he was a genius actor and director, but I had never worked with him before. You know it's funny as I'm describing him. It sounds like he's just competent and masterful. So I'm not sure why I'm describing him as terrifying, but he was to me. So this was a Shakespeare class which was also intimidating.

Kristin:

At the end of our second session we were each given a monologue which was handpicked by this guy, this coach, and I was given Hermione's soliloquy, which is essentially a monologue from A Winter's Tale. Now she is this strong, intelligent, loyal, virtuous queen, and she's been wrongly accused by her husband, the king, of having an affair, wrongly, mind you. He ripped her children from her, ordered the newborn he thought wasn't his to be killed and sentenced his wife to death. Now she, of course, has this all-consuming grief over the loss of her children, her freedom, the love of this man she'd shared a life with, and she's now speaking at her trial to defend her virtue and her worth. I mean, this is some powerful shit right. I worked on my delivery all week and, oh my god, I mastered it. So the next week I'm performing and I am bold and passionate as Hermione.

Kristin:

During my class performance and my class went crazy for it I nailed it. So I'm standing up there in front of the class clapping, dying down, waiting for the coach's feedback and waiting and waiting and it's not coming. So I am completely embarrassed and I start back to my seat. His voice comes so quietly from the back of the room that at first I didn't even realize he was speaking. May I ask you a personal question? I stop and look up and meet his eyes and I just kind of nod. I mean, good Lord, I just bared my soul to you. Of course you can ask me a question I mean, it was the queen's soul. But you know method acting right. How assertive are you in your personal life? Yeah, that was a zinger. Yeah, it hits me. Of course, that is why he gave me this monologue A woman standing up for herself against false accusations and atrocities committed toward her, declaring her worth, regardless of actions taken or not.

Kristin:

Now, quick sidebar here. Remember? I was headed at that very moment into a terrible divorce. So this person, this acting coach, who barely knew me, saw straight into my soul and verbalized what I was refusing to acknowledge. In one 90-minute class, he had seen straight through my well-constructed mask to the very heart of my biggest issue, the one that for years I had scoffed at Every time it surfaced in my consciousness. I'd been refusing to acknowledge this for years.

Kristin:

So, despite what I thought was a very convincing facade, I had very little assertiveness over myself or my life and I had given away all feelings of worth. I'd just become this shell of a person making very few decisions on my own about my life. I mean, how did I become someone who gave away who I was Without even a fight, really? I just gradually shrunk and diminished. I became someone who deferred to my very competent husband and I became whatever he believed I was. So the question stopped me cold, because the honest answer was I wasn't assertive at all. Inside I was holding back, waiting for permission, editing myself to fit in and to be pleasing, and this near stranger saw that almost immediately in me. I didn't even see it in me. It's like when you're walking down the street being your fabulous 35-year-old self and you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the shop window and realize you are fucking 50 years old and everyone sees that, but you, you know.

Kristin:

I kind of want to deliver that monologue again now, but this time with conviction and the knowledge of what it truly means to believe in my own worth. Here's what I've learned since then. When you are rediscovering yourself, there's this in-between stage where you've realized who you are but you're still practicing how to live from that place. Assertiveness is the bridge. It's the moment you say this is who I am. It's one thing to know your truth quietly inside yourself. It's another to stand in it and let other people actually see you in it. And that is where assertiveness comes in, not in a harsh, pushy way, but in a steady, grounded way.

Kristin:

Assertiveness is about alignment. It's not about being loud and aggressive. It's about standing in your truth and allowing it to take up space in the world. Assertiveness is the bridge between your inner identity and your outer life. In its simplest form, it is alignment in action. It's standing in who you are and letting that truth be visible, not watered down, not tucked away. Visible, you know.

Kristin:

I think for women in midlife this is especially powerful. So many of us have spent decades just dimming, editing, reshaping ourselves for others to fit into the roles or the expectations around us. But rediscovery asks for visibility. It asks us to bring our true selves into the room. Rediscovery is about choosing again. It's about saying this is what I want, this is what I need, this is what I believe, what I value, this is who I am, this is me and I am willing to be seen in it. And I am willing to be seen in it. And the more we practice that, the more natural it feels. So every time you assert yourself, you are rewriting your identity in real time. You're saying I choose me, I choose truth over performance. I choose to be seen as I really am.

Kristin:

And that's why I say assertiveness matters, especially in midlife. It doesn't mean you need to be loud, it doesn't mean you bulldoze, and it definitely doesn't mean that you have to have everything figured out. It simply means you don't abandon yourself anymore. You stop hiding behind the version of yourself you think others need, the version that feels safe. You let the real. You show up voice, steady eyes, open shoulders, back, present in the moment. I choose me.

Kristin:

And that is where the magic of midlife comes in, because our messes, our experiences, it all becomes wisdom, because we're not doing this for applause, we're not doing this to please anyone else. We're doing it because being invisible no longer feels like an option. We've carried too many masks, too many versions of ourselves that never fit, and now it's time to let the real version take up space. So if you're feeling that pull toward rediscovery, I want you to hear this Assertiveness isn't selfish. It's not about controlling others. It's about finally being in integrity with yourself. It's remembering what's always been true and choosing to live in alignment with it. It's realizing you don't have to prove yourself into existence. You just have to allow yourself to exist as you are, and that choice to acknowledge your truth and stand in it is one of the most powerful steps you will ever take. It's one of the bravest ways to honor who you're becoming. So let's go into those six actionable steps to reclaim your visibility in midlife.

Kristin:

Number one reclaim your personal style. Invest in clothes that make you feel confident and true to yourself. Update your wardrobe with pieces that reflect who you are now. Your style is your expression of self and can give you confidence when you feel good in what you wear. And, oh my God, wear what you want, no matter your age. If you feel good in it, that's what matters. No one gets to decide that, but you Throw your shoulders back and strut your stuff, knowing that you feel amazing.

Kristin:

Number two speak up and share your voice. Your opinions, experiences, thoughts, feelings. They matter. Join conversations, share your insights and never, ever apologize for taking up space. You are interesting and your wisdom is valuable. The world needs to hear you is valuable. The world needs to hear you.

Kristin:

Number three let go of your perceived limitations. Become consciously aware of the stories you tell yourself and ask yourself each time is this really true? Challenge those limiting thoughts every single time. One of my biggest blocks that had been that I felt like I was too old to start over. And why would anyone listen to someone of my age who was starting over? And didn't that mean that I'd failed in my life and I was a loser who was floating around at 50? Limiting belief. The idea to take control of my life after my divorce and use my past education and skills to become a certified life coach and then start this podcast, perfect it completely slashed my limiting belief. Was it true that I was too old to start over? Absolutely not, because it's turned my age into a strength, because no one who hasn't been through my situation and come through the other side Absolutely not. Because it's turned my age into a strength, because no one who hasn't been through my situation and come through the other side could be creating this business with this level of help. Replace your lack language with empowering statements. What a beautiful place to live from.

Kristin:

Number four pursue new passions and interests. Try that art class, join a yoga studio, learn a new language, start that business you've been dreaming about. And if you feel like you can't or you don't know how, just think of me starting a podcast without a clue how to do any of it. If I can do something that new and unknown, I assure you you can too. Novel activities bring new thoughts and fresh energy, increase joy and excitement and confidence, and they also help you meet interesting new people who will see your vibrant spirit.

Kristin:

Number five build meaningful connections. Cultivate relationships with people who appreciate and celebrate you Quality over quantity. Surround yourself with those who see your worth and make you feel valued and heard. Having true connections with a select few improves life in healthy, surprising, fun ways. You are amazing, so share yourself with others. And number six prioritize your physical presence. Stand tall, make eye contact, wear a smile and move with intention. Make eye contact, wear a smile and move with intention. Good posture and confident body language instantly makes you feel stronger and more visible. Take care of your health. When you feel strong, you radiate presence.

Kristin:

And did you know that taking the Wonder Woman pose, which is a solid power stance feet shoulder width apart, hands on hips, chin raised, chest out makes you feel more powerful? I shit you not. There are several scientific studies and one very popular TED talk that show that power posing for two minutes changes hormone levels in your body. It increases testosterone, which is connected to dominance, and decreases cortisol, which is connected with stress. So this non-verbal expression of power can influence how we feel about ourselves. The social psychologist in the TED talk says our bodies can change our minds. Our minds can change our behavior and our behavior can change the outcome of a situation. So channel your inner Wonder Woman. You deserve to be seen, feel it, know it, be it.

Kristin:

And speaking of our bodies, I want to segue into the part where I tell you about some tool I'm currently using or trying in my rediscovery, and this ties back to the discussion about assertiveness and being seen as well, because that isn't just about our voices or how we show up in relationships. It's also about how we treat our body, and the way we care for ourselves is part of how we assert who we are. It's one of the ways we choose ourselves. It's the ultimate empowerment For me that recently showed up through intermittent fasting. I'd been curious about it for a while, but I had always brushed it off, telling myself I did not have the discipline and it probably wouldn't work for me anyway. But a couple of weeks ago I read the book Fast Like a Girl by Dr Mindy Pelz. I'm not sure how she pronounces her last name, it's P-E-L-Z and she goes into how to utilize fasting in healthy ways, specifically for women's bodies and hormones. The physical benefits are staggering. If you have interest in learning more, you can reach out to me, pick up the book, find her on YouTube.

Kristin:

Last week I gave myself permission to try, and it has been an eye-opening experience. And it has been an eye-opening experience. First of all. Within seven days so far, I have lost six pounds, and I'm not going to lie. That feels pretty good, and it wasn't nearly as hard as I had worried about either, but beyond that, I have gained clarity, energy, a sharper sense of discipline that's carrying into other areas of my life as well.

Kristin:

For me, it's been a practice of tuning in more deeply to my body and noticing how much of what I do is out of habit and on autopilot. Fasting has been teaching me that I don't need to fill every space. Growth comes from creating space. That pausing whether in food or decisions or the constant rush of life creates room for me to stop and listen to myself again, just like fasting creates space in the body for rest and renewal. Letting go of old identities and old limiting beliefs creates space in the soul and mind for truth and rediscovery. And in a way, it ties right back to that question.

Kristin:

My acting coach asked me years ago how assertive are you in your personal life? How assertive are you in your personal life? Because choosing to fast, choosing to take a stand for my health and to pay attention to what my body needs, to say yes to myself in a new and different way, that is a form of assertiveness too. It's me taking up space in my own life, not shrinking, not waiting for somebody else to decide for me, and I think that's something so many of us in midlife are realizing. We get to choose differently now. We get to reclaim our voice, our health, our bodies, our truth. I am the boss of me, you are the boss of you. We get to decide, not as a performance, not to prove anything, but because we're worthy of living in alignment with who we really are, inside and out.

Kristin:

If you've been projecting a version of yourself that doesn't quite match the real you, I'd like to give you a journal prompt and invitation to reflect. So here it is. What is the identity inside me that I have been putting off choosing, and what happens if I assertively decide to acknowledge and choose her? So give yourself a few minutes to write freely, without judgment, as always, and let the answers surprise you. So, my friends, you don't have to become someone new. You are in control. You get to choose, be assertive and choose yourself. You don't need to perform your worth. You already are worthy. You don't need to prove your identity, you to choose it. And the more you choose yourself, the more life just opens up, because rediscovery isn't about realizing who you are. It's about choosing her out loud, again and again and again.

Kristin:

So if this episode resonated, I would love for you to share with a friend or two who you think could benefit from a message or discussion that we've had just now. And you can also always find me on Instagram at edgeofrailpodcast, and, if you would like, I have included a link in the show notes to download a beautiful booklet I've created with these six ways to reclaim your visibility in midlife. That I've created with these six ways to reclaim your visibility in midlife. So until next time, keep listening, keep choosing yourself and know that who you really are is more than enough. Remember you're not lost. You're on the edge of something real. Love you, bye-bye.

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Kristin Hamilton

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