Edge of Real Podcast | Midlife Identity and Rediscovery
Helping you remember you’re not lost, you’re on the edge of something real.
Edge of Real is a podcast for women who are waking up later in life - and realizing they’re ready for something more.
Hosted by Kristin Hamilton, this is a space for rediscovery beyond the roles, rules, and expectations that never quite fit. Part soft rebellion, part spiritual journal, Edge of Real invites you into the honest, often messy process of unbecoming what you’re not… so you can remember who you really are.
Each week, I invite you into my own re-becoming - sharing stories, spiritual insights, personal permission slips, and real-time reflections from the messy, beautiful middle. I discover and discuss soul-level tools for returning to what’s real - exploring self-discovery beyond the titles, timelines, and expectations that never quite fit. As one woman, shedding and shifting in real time - I offer encouragement, reflection, and permission to evolve on your own terms.
Whether you’re standing at a threshold, questioning what’s real, or craving something deeper… this is for you.
Because the edge isn’t the end.
It’s the becoming.
Edge of Real Podcast | Midlife Identity and Rediscovery
#4. Empty Nest, Divorce, Loss… and Finding Yourself Again
Midlife transitions often strip away roles that once defined us, leaving us questioning our identity and worth beyond titles like mother or wife.
• Society tends to assign women value based on what we do for others
• Roles like mother, wife, and caregiver become entwined with our sense of self
• These roles are parts of us but not our complete identity
• When roles change, we have the opportunity to rediscover our authentic selves
• We can choose which aspects of former roles to keep and which to discard
• This transition is about rediscovery rather than replacement
• Journal to explore who you are when no one needs anything from you
• Experiment with new passions or reconnect with old ones
• Reconnect with your body through movement and self-expression
• Use your voice to say yes or no according to your true desires
• Create regular rituals of self-expression without agenda
• The woman who emerges isn't smaller without her roles - she's bigger and more authentic
If you'd like coaching support through this transition, find the link below to schedule a call with me to see if working together makes sense for you.
🦋 Would you like help walking through these steps, or with accountability, or deeper dives into these topics? Interested in learning more about working 1:1 with me to transform your life in your rediscovery? Schedule a free Discovery call with me here: https://stan.store/edgeofreal
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Welcome back to the Edge of Real podcast, where we discuss midlife identity and rediscovery. I'm Kristin, and today we're stepping into a topic that so many of us are going through right now the moment when a role we've carried for years suddenly shifts or falls away and we're left wondering who the hell am I now? I was called this week to talk about this topic because I've had some women reach out to me lately to tell me about their loss of identity as they become wives and mothers, and then also as they go through divorce and are no longer wives, and as their children leave home off to their next adventures and their season of being an active mom ends. I feel the grief and bewilderment in their stories. I feel the grief and bewilderment in their stories. I too, am divorced, and I too have just seen my youngest go off to college. I am now living alone for literally the first time in my life.
Kristin:When I got separated and then divorced several years ago, my ex moved across the country almost instantly and I was left being the only active parent. We have no other family anywhere nearby, so it was just the three of us my two kids and me, and before this I had been a stay-at-home mom. So, needless to say, being a mom was my identity. It was my very favorite thing to do, but also the only thing I could do. There was literally no one else around to help or to check my work or just be there for my kids and me. I got completely lost in it and it was the best thing ever. But it also became all I knew about myself, and how I felt about myself was completely wrapped up in being a mom. For so many years I had worn certain titles like they were glued to me Right Like mom, wife, daughter, caretaker, supporter. These roles gave me direction, sometimes they gave me excuses, sometimes they gave me excuses, but they were always there. And then one of those roles changed and now another. It's like someone pulled the rug out from under me and I'm left standing in a silence. I am so not used to, am so not used to. So then this question rises up and it's kind of scary. Well, actually it's really fucking scary. If I'm not a wife anymore, if I'm not an active mom anymore, then who am I? I'm pretty sure if you're here, then you have felt this too.
Kristin:When a child leaves home, when a marriage ends, when a parent passes, or when life just kind of reshapes itself and the labels we're living under no longer really fit, it can feel like losing part of yourself. You know, society is so quick to assign women value by what we do for others, right, like mother, wife, professional, caregiver. We get praised for how well we hold it all together, and so we learn to wrap our identity into those titles. We get consumed as the vines of those roles grow around us. More and more we get entwined. But then one of the roles goes away and it feels like the ground is gone. We wonder if we have any worth outside of what we've given, of ourselves or what we've done.
Kristin:But what we need to remember is that those roles were never you. They were parts of you, certainly, and they always will be. We can honor them and give them a special place in our being. Honor them, give them a special place in our being. They helped shape us and helped us grow and challenged us and brought us joy and heartache and love. But they were just that parts. They were like costumes that we wore temporarily. Underneath them is what's permanent and it's whole.
Kristin:You know, we can add more layers to ourselves, right, when we become a mom, a wife, a CEO, an entrepreneur. But we can also take layers away. We honor them and thank them for shaping those chapters of our lives, and then we can pull them apart and keep the parts we want, the parts that flow into who we want to be in this next phase of life, and then we can unbecome certain parts of those roles that no longer suit us, the people pleasing the meekness, the stressed part that was always on edge. I'm the boss of me, you're the boss of you. You get to choose what to keep and what to discard. You're in that part of your life where you get to step into your own freedom. You now get to step into a phase that is yours, where you get to discover what brings you pleasure, what gives you expansion. We're not defined by our roles but by our essence, who we are deep inside, by our joie de vivre. I am curiosity, I am creativity, I am empathy, I am wisdom, I am sensuality, and every day I get to choose the pieces of myself that are incorporated into who I am that day. So give yourself permission to explore, to desire, to choose, to be bold, to express yourself in your own way that feels true to you.
Kristin:Losing a role doesn't have to mean starting over I mean hell, it certainly can if you want it to. But it can also mean allowing the woman you always were beneath the rules, roles, titles, expectations to come out to play. Come out. Come out wherever you are. Okay, no wait, that sounds like a horror movie. Anyway, this should feel like freedom, like liberation, like sovereignty you have the authority to govern yourself. So losing a role doesn't mean losing yourself. It's actually the opposite. It's an invitation to meet the woman you have maybe been putting off or pushing away a little bit, the one who isn't defined by her job description or her last name or her family tree, or who happens to be living in her home at that moment. The woman who has desires and ideas and truths and quirks that are completely her own, unique only to her, I mean, sure, shaped by her past but not defined by it. And this also isn't about rushing into the next role. It's not about filling the empty space with a new title just so you don't feel exposed. It's about letting yourself rediscover instead of replace.
Kristin:If this feels familiar, if it feels like I am speaking directly to you, here are a few practices that can help. Number one if you know me and you've been following along so far, you know what I'm going to say. Journal it out. Ask yourself who am I when no one is needing me to be anything, and then just write. There is no pressure to have an answer. Maybe go wander around a shop you love and gift yourself a new journal for this new phase of your life and then you just write when you have a moment or you can have a specific time, like before bed or when you first wake up, or maybe make it a thing like light a candle, make some tea or your favorite cocktail, whatever. Grab your favorite pen that writes super smooth or writes in hot pink, you know whatever works for you. Number two experiment with new passions. Take a class, pick up a new hobby, maybe think of something you once loved but no longer do or left behind. For me, I love doing this podcast, like I really, really love it. I'm also going to relearn French. Mais oui, mon petit chouchou, um okay.
Kristin:Number three reconnect with your body. Go for walks, move in ways that feel good, maybe change your style. We talked about that last week. Sometimes it's the smallest shifts in how we carry ourselves that start to create those openings where we can learn something about ourselves. Number four speak up and use your voice. Say no more often, or say yes more often. Let your truth be heard. What you think and have to say has worth.
Kristin:Number five create rituals of self-expression. Schedule time each week that is just for you. No agenda, no role to fill, just whatever the hell you want to do. Throw on your stretchy pants and Netflix for a while, or go for a bike ride, or meet up with some friends. Go for a long stroll. Or meet up with some friends. Go for a long stroll, sit and pet your dog or cat and do nothing.
Kristin:Remember you're the boss of you, so I want you to know this.
Kristin:You are not lost.
Kristin:You are in transition and that's okay. You don't have to have it all figured out. You can feel grief or relief or absolutely any other feel you have. It's okay. Roles will come and go, but the real you is still here, ready for you to see her, for you to choose her. You don't have to rebuild an identity overnight. You can take it slow and just let the pieces of who you are just fall out and or come forward on their own, and the beauty is the woman who emerges isn't smaller without the roles. She's bigger, she's more authentic, she's more free. She carries the wisdom and the experiences forever, but she has decided what serves her on this day, at this time.
Kristin:So here's my journal prompt for you for this week. Which role have I been most tied to and what part of me has been waiting underneath it? If you'd like to share your reflections with me on Instagram, at edge of real podcast, I would love to hear what is shifting for you. Thank you for being here, for listening, for walking this path of rediscovery with me, coaching with me. I do work with a limited number of one-to-one clients, so feel free to find the link in the show notes to schedule a call with me where we can have a little coaching session and see if it makes sense for us to work together. So until next week, remember you're not lost. You're on the edge of something real. Love you Bye-bye.
